Sometimes it is Dangerous
by CallistoLexx
Summary: MiguelKay. A couple years after Charity comes to town, Miguel notices the changes that have undertaken his best friend and on his quest to save Kay from herself, he is drawn into her more than complicated life.
1. Prologue

I think this is actually one of my better ones...and one of my only two Kaguel fics...yes, I used to like the two together but then Miguel just got dumber and dumber. Anyway, enjoy. Oh, there are a lot of song lyrics in this fic so at the end I'll include a discography. On the whole this story is Rated R for bad language and adult situations.   
~Tif~ 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the _Passions_ characters nor do I own the show itself. That belongs to many people that aren't me. I also don't own the songs contained herein. They belong to many _other_ people who aren't me nor the aforementioned _Passions_ people. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Sometimes it is Dangerous

**Prologue**

Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald sat on the couch in the Bennett's living room, watching TV with his girlfriend Charity Standish. If the truth had to be told, he wasn't really paying attention to the television nor to his girlfriend. He was thinking about the realization that had hit him that day. 

He had been sitting in this very room, on this very couch, listening to Mrs. Bennett tell Charity about her daughters, Kay and Jessica's, childhood while showing her a photo album. He had looked at the pictures of Kay he thought about how good of friends they used to be. They used to know what each other was feeling just by looking at each other. Ever since Charity had moved to town he had neglected their friendship and he was feeling guilty for it. 

He looked at a picture of Kay that was taken shortly before Charity came to town. That was one of the last times that he had really known her or had a real conversation with her. He looked up as Kay came down the stairs. She had changed in the year since Charity came. 

She was thinner and paler. She was more withdrawn and didn't hang out with the normal group anymore. According to Simone, they had grown apart. And Jessica said that Kay hadn't fought with her anymore. In fact, she was rarely ever home anymore. She often got in fights with all members of her family with the exception of her uncle Hank and brother Noah, since they rarely ever saw each other. Miguel had also noticed that Kay had started to dress differently. She had started dressing in more revealing clothes. 

For instance, today as she came down the stairs, she was dressed in a tight black mini-skirt, and a tight black low-cut midriff tank top, which, he noticed, didn't have a bra underneath it. She had on black leather knee-high boots with 4 ½ inch stiletto heels. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail and she had a few tendrils of hair framing her face. She had on silver hoop earrings and many silver bracelets and rings. 

She pulled on her leather jacket that Hank had gotten her for Christmas the previous year then put on her dark sunglasses. She picked up her purse then left the house without saying a word to anyone, even to her mother when she asked where she was going. 

After Mr. and Mrs. Bennett figured out that no matter what they said or did, Kay wasn't going to stop dressing the way she was and acting the way she was they gave up. They still tried to talk to her about it and find out why she had changed, but they had basically given her up for a lost cause. She would revert back if she wanted to...which, so far, she hadn't. They had since turned their time and attention to Jessica and Charity, doing their best to keep them from changing into the person that Kay had become. 

Now that he really thought about it, Kay's problems had all started the second that Charity came to town. Kay said that she liked her, but now Miguel was having second thoughts. Maybe Kay was bitter about Charity getting more attention than she was. Maybe it was the middle child syndrome. Miguel didn't know, but he was determined to find out what it was if it was the last thing he ever did. 


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

A week later, Miguel sat in his and Kay's geometry class. He had been watching Kay as well as he could. This year he had all of his classes with Kay so watching her was fairly easy during school. He, unfortunately, usually lost her right after school since Charity often stopped him to talk to him. In the time that it took him to shake off Charity, Kay was usually gone, not being seen again until, according to Jessica, around two in the morning. 

Today he was determined not to lose her. He took out a notebook in which he had been keeping his notes of what all Kay had done and how she looked since he had started observing her a week ago. He opened the notebook to a fresh page. 

_Friday, April 20___

_Nothing much has changed from yesterday. Kay is still unresponsive in class, often looking bored. In Astronomy she fell asleep, having to be woken up by one of her new friends. I think her name was Carrie...I don't really know since she hasn't been in school that long.___

_It seems that every day Kay seems to be getting more and more pale. She has gotten even thinner since last week. I'm really starting to worry; I need to see what is up with her._

Miguel shut the notebook as the bell rang. He gathered up his stuff and followed Kay out of the room, staying an average length back from her so she didn't know that she was being followed. 

It was now time for lunch and Charity, Simone, Jessica, and Reese were expecting him at the table, but today he decided to follow Kay. She usually went to the cafeteria with her friends so Miguel could keep an eye on her while sitting with his friends. But today she was heading in the opposite direction. He followed her out of the school and watched as she met up with a group of her friends. 

Most of them were older than he and Kay were, and also came from different schools. He recognized some kids who went to college at Harmony University. 

He followed them to the parking lot and watched as they got in a Cadillac and peeled out of the parking lot. He silently thanked Luis for letting him borrow the car that morning and he got in and started the car, following them from a discreet distance. 

They stopped at a large house on the outskirts of town and Kay went in with her friends. He recognized the house as belonging to one of the richer students in school, Cathy...who happened to be one of the people in the group. 

Miguel parked outside of the house and watched it, assuming they were just going there for lunch. He studied the house, thinking of what was happening to Kay. He was getting more and more worried as the days wore on. 

The next time he looked at the clock, he realized that school had already been back in session for two hours. School was about to end for the day. This was the first time that he knew of that Kay had actually skipped school. And he had done it right along with her. He knew that Luis and his mother were going to yell at him about it, but he believed that it was for a good cause. 

He stayed where he was for an hour and a half longer until Kay came out of the house with the guy that he believed owned the Cadillac that he had been following. She got in the passenger side as the other guy got in the driver's side and took off. 

Miguel started up the car and followed the Cadillac again. *I should become a spy,* he thought. *After all, I am getting pretty good at it.* He was surprised when the Cadillac pulled up in front of the Bennett's house. Kay got out and the car pulled away from the curb, leaving down the street. 

Miguel pulled up as Kay started to walk up the front sidewalk. He parked and got out of the car. "Kay!" he yelled, not really knowing what he was going to say. 

Kay turned around surprised. "Oh, hi Miguel. I'm sure Charity's inside." She turned back and started to head back to the house again. 

"I'm not here to see Charity. I'm here to see you." 

Kay was definitely surprised to hear that. She had thought that he didn't even know who she was anymore. Not that she did either. "Really? What about?" 

"I was just wondering what you were doing tonight," he said, hoping that he could go with her, wherever she was going and whatever she was doing. 

"Since it's Friday, I'm going to a party with my friends. It's out of town so we'll probably be there all night," she replied, wondering if she should say what she wanted to. "Do you want to come with?" 

Miguel inwardly smiled. He was hoping she'd ask him to come along. "I'd love to come along. Are you sure that you don't mind?" 

"I'm sure. We're leaving in an hour. How about my friends and I come to pick you up then? You'll probably want to bring along an extra pair of clothes since we probably won't be back in town until tomorrow afternoon at the soonest." 

"Alright. So I'll see you in an hour?" 

"Of course," Kay smiled and went into the house and up to her room. 

Miguel smiled as well. "Mission accomplished," he murmured to himself. He would find out what was going on with Kay by the end of the night or his name wasn't Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald. 

He got back in the car and drove to his house to get ready for the party. 

=>==>==>==>==>==>= 

After getting ready, Kay threw her make-up and hair supplies into her backpack along with a change of clothes. She was debating with herself about whether or not she should have invited Miguel to come along with her. 

If he found out what she did in her spare time, he would probably tell her parents and all hell would break loose. On the way to the party, Kay would tell Miguel that whatever he witnessed while he was with her and her friends, would have to be kept a secret. No one could know what was happening. 

She picked up the phone and called Keith, who was one of the people driving to the party, and also her best friend. "Keith? Have you and Craig figured out who is riding with who?" 

"Yes we have, H. You'll be riding with me and Sin." 

Kay smiled at the use of her nickname. She thoroughly enjoyed sharing the same name with her favorite drug. "Well, you won't be alone with Jacinda and myself. I've invited along one of my old friends, Miguel. He's fairly cool. I call back seat, along with him. Sin can have shotgun. Who all is driving with Craig and Jake?" 

"MJ, Cathy, Carrie, and Jarred are in the car with Craig. And Lucas, Dom, Sandra, and Carlo are in the car with Jake," her best friend replied. "You sure that Miguel is cool?" 

"He should be. He's been following the gang for a week now, seeing what I was up to. He's worried. Once he finds out what goes on with me, he'll lay off. He's starting to irritate me." 

Keith laughed. "People annoy you easily, don't they?" 

"Yes they do. You can go pick up Sin, then come get me so we can get Miguel, ok Trip?" 

"Of course. I'll be there in twenty minutes. 

"Thanks. See you then." 

=>==>==>==>==>==>= 

Miguel quickly packed his things and went into the kitchen to let his mother know what was going on. 

"Mama? Can I talk to you?" he asked when he noticed that his mother was alone. 

"Of course, Miguel. Is something wrong? Did you find out what is wrong with Kay?" Pilar asked. 

Miguel had told his mother what he was doing. She knew that finding out what was bothering Kay was important to him and was standing behind him. 

"I didn't find out yet, but I'm about to. I got Kay to invite me to go with her to a party that she's going to tonight. The thing is that it's out of town and we probably won't be back until tomorrow afternoon. May I go, please?" 

Pilar thought about it for a moment. Miguel really wanted to find out what was wrong with his former best friend. She was worried about Kay herself. She had been the first to notice the young girl's transformation and wanted to help her out in anyway that she could. So Pilar knew how she had to answer. "Yes, Miguel, you may go. But I want you to be careful and let me know what you find out about Kay. I want her returned to normal as much as you do. When you find out what is going on with her, we'll be able to help her." 

"Thank you, Mama. Don't worry. I'll be careful and I'll let you know what I've learned tomorrow." 

Just as Miguel finished speaking the doorbell rang. "That should be Kay. I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you again." 

"No problem, Miguel. Be careful," she called as she watched her son pick up his backpack and leave the house. 

=>==>==>==>==>==>= 

"Miguel, we need to have a little chat," Kay said shortly after they left the Lopez-Fitzgerald house. 

"What about, Kay?" he asked getting suspicious. Could she know what he was up to? 

"Well, what goes on in our little group is highly exclusive and confidential. You are only in this for one night, as far as we know. So you have to swear to me, on the lives of all you hold dear, that you will keep everything that happens in this time that you are with us a secret. A secret you must keep to the grave." 

Miguel's eyes widened. For the first time he realized that he might be in this deeper than he had originally planned. But Kay's safety was worth it. He wanted her back the way she was. The way she was a year ago, before Charity ever moved to town. "Of course, Kay. I'll keep it a secret." 

Kay smiled. "Thank you, Miguel. Now, I should get to the introductions. The driver up there is Trip Williams who is my best friend. The lady in shotgun is Sin Ballweg who is also Trip's girlfriend. I'm often called H or X instead of Kay, just so you know." 

Miguel nodded his head. "Why are you called by those names?" 

"You'll find out later. Now for the people in the car ahead of us. The driver is named Rock Williams and he is Trip's older brother by two years. The lady in shotgun in that car is his girlfriend M.J. Galvan. In the back seat behind Rock is Rush Carpenter. Next to her in the middle is E Nachreiner. Next to him behind M.J. is Barb Douglas and is E's girlfriend. 

"In the car behind us in the drivers seat is K Williams, Trip's older brother by a year. In the shotgun seat is his girlfriend Snow Martin. In the back seat behind K is Hash Jenson. Next to him is his significant other Sulph Johnson. And next to him is Rush's boyfriend Carlo Galvan, who is M.J.'s younger brother by a year and is once in a while referred to as Horse. He and Rush are in the middle of a major fight that is threatening to bring us all down, but will probably be resolved by midnight." 

Miguel nodded again. "How old are all these people?" 

Kay thought for a moment. "Barb, Rush, and Hash are our age, 16. Carlo is 17. M.J. is 18 years old. E is 19, Sin is 20, and Trip and Snow are 21. K is 22 while Rock is 23." 

"And just how old are the other people at the party going to be?" 

"Anywhere from 15 to 29. Maybe some are older than that. Why?" 

"Just curious." 

Kay laughed and handed a CD to Sin to put in the CD player. "Put on track two." 

Soon the music started to flow through the speakers, softly at first, but getting increasingly louder as Trip turned the volume up higher. 

"I love this song!" Kay yelled to him over the music. She looked back at the car behind them to see what they were up to as she started to sing to the music. 

_And I wonder day to day_   
_I don't like you anyway_   
_I don't need your shit today_   
_You're pathetic in your own way___

_I feel for you_   
_Better fuckin' go away_   
_I will behave_   
_Better fuckin' go away___

_I'm doing the best I ever did_   
_I'm doing the best that I can_   
_I'm doing the best I ever did___

_I don't need to fantasize_   
_You are my pets all of the time_   
_I don't mind if you go blind_   
_You get what you get_   
_Until you're through with my life___

_I feel for you_   
_Better fuckin' go away_   
_I will behave_   
_You better go away_   
_I feel for you_   
_Better fuckin' go away_   
_I will behave_   
_You better go away___

_I'm doing the best I ever did_   
_I'm doing the best that I can_   
_I'm doing the best I ever did_   
_Now go away___

_I'm doing the best I ever did_   
_I'm doing the best that I can_   
_I'm doing the best I ever did_   
_Now go away___

_I'm doing the best I ever did_   
_Go away_   
_I'm doing the best that I can_   
_Go away_   
_I'm doing the best I ever did_   
_Go away_   
_I'm doing the best that I can_   
_Go away___

_I'm doing the best I ever did_   
_I'm doing the best that I can_   
_I'm doing the best I ever did_   
_Now go away___

_I'm doing the best I ever did_   
_I'm doing the best that I can_   
_I'm doing the best I ever did_   
_Now go away___

_I'm doing the best I ever did_   
_I'm doing the best that I can_   
_I'm doing the best I ever did_   
_Now go away___

_I'm doing the best I ever did_   
_Go away_   
_I'm doing the best that I can_

As the song stopped, Kay started to laugh. She was still looking in the car behind them. 

"What is it?" Trip asked looking at her in the rear view mirror. 

"As near as I can tell, K lit up a cigarette and flicked the ashes out the window. The back drivers side window is open and Hash got hot ashes all over himself when they blew back there. Meanwhile, Snow, Sulph, and Carlo are all fighting with each other. I have a guess at what it's over, but I'm not sure." She held her hand out to Sin. "Hey, hand me the cell." 

Sin handed her a cell phone and Kay dialed in a number, which she seemingly knew by heart. "Snow! What's up?" 

Miguel could only hear her side of the conversation as she yelled into the phone. 

"I thought just as much! Put in my Hendrix CD that I left in there! That will shut them up! No problem! Yes, we're almost there!" She turned off the transmission and handed the phone back to Sin. "They were fighting over what CD to listen to just as I thought they were." 

Miguel looked at his watch and noticed that only an hour had passed. The night would be dragging on forever at this rate. But he had vowed to himself that he would find out what was going on and he was going to stick with it. His friendship with Kay was the most important thing to him at the moment. 


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Soon after the sun started to set they arrived at a large house that was bustling with activity. Miguel followed Kay out of the car and stood next to her as the rest of her friends exited their cars. 

Miguel took a good look at Kay. She was wearing a very low cut, very tight, sapphire blue halter top with a pair of tight black stretch denim shorts that showed off plenty of leg. Her hair was piled up on top of her head in curls, a few tendrils framing her face. He noticed for the first time that Kay had a navel ring, which made him realize, not for the first time, how far apart they had grown. He usually noticed when Kay had something new done to herself. Kay pointed out who everyone was so that Miguel would be able to put a name with a face. 

Miguel wondered again about the names that everyone had. He knew that not all of the names were their given ones. For instance, Cathy Carpenter was being called Rush. He turned to Kay and asked her about it again. 

"Miguel, you are too impatient. You'll see when we actually get into the party. But remember your promise. You can't tell anyone what you see here. Especially your brother and my father." 

"I know, Kay." There it was again: the feeling that he was in over his head. He just hoped that no matter what it was that Kay was involved in, she wasn't in so much that he couldn't get her out of it. 

"Good. Come on before they go wild," she said grabbing his hand in hers and motioning to her friends with her other hand. Her friends suddenly looked like kids in a candy store. 

"What is up with them?" he asked, trying to figure it all out. 

Kay smiled mysteriously. "You'll see." They walked up the steps to the porch and she opened the door for him. "You first." 

"Thanks. I think," he replied. As they entered the house a wave of smoke and the scent of something that Miguel knew, but couldn't place hit them. All around there were people dancing, drinking and, as near as Miguel could figure out, doing joints. When he saw the people who were doing the joints, he knew what the scent was. "Kay, may I speak to you?" 

"What about?" Kay asked, curiously, wondering if Miguel knew what everybody was doing. 

"Are you into drugs?" 

Kay smiled wider. "By Jove, I think he's got it! Let me see...it's taken you a week to figure that out? No offense Miguel, but that's weak." 

"What? You knew that I was following you?" 

"Of course. I didn't fall off the last turnip wagon. I've seen you. And it didn't help earlier this afternoon when I went to the window and saw you sitting in your families car and watching the Carpenter house." 

"You saw me?" 

"Yes. Now are you going to act like an adult and give me the little 'drugs are bad' lecture or are we going to have some fun?" 

"By fun you mean get high, right?" 

"Of course. Or completely smashed. Whichever one's better for you," she replied, waving to a group of people. "Miguel, I know what I'm doing. Believe me, I know." 

Miguel was about to reply when he saw a tall, good-looking guy come up to them. 

"Hey, H. Long time no see," he said. 

Kay smiled and hugged the guy. "Liam, it's so good to see you. When did you get back?" 

"I got back a few days ago. I couldn't stand living out in Wyoming," Liam answered smoothly. 

"And Maine is that much better?" 

"Well, I'd rather live closer to some larger cities, like NYC and Boston." 

Kay laughed. "I told you that it wasn't going to last." She glanced at Miguel, who was eyeing Liam curiously. "Oh, I forgot you two don't know each other. Miguel this is Liam Stafford. Liam this is Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald." 

"Nice to meet you," Liam said, shaking Miguel's hand. 

"You too," Miguel replied, still eyeing the guy. 

Liam was just a bit shy of six feet and had short chestnut brown hair with deep blue eyes and he had a small silver hoop earring in both of his ears. Miguel could tell that he and Kay were really close. But now he wondered how close...and how long they knew each other. 

"So, are you new to our little group?" Liam asked. 

"No, he's just a visitor. In fact, I believe he was about to give me the whole drugs are bad speech," Kay answered for him. 

"Oh...I know that one. You aren't going to subject my girl to that now are you?" 

"Your girl?" Miguel questioned. 

"Ignore that. He's been calling me by that name ever since we met. It was cute when we were dating, but now it's just creepy." 

"You two used to date?" Miguel asked, feeling an almost overwhelming sense of jealousy. *Where is that coming from?* he asked himself. 

"Yeah. For about 10 months...until he moved to Wyoming, that is. Long distance relationships almost never work so we didn't even try it." 

"Oh," he replied, still feeling jealous. 

Kay noticed the look that Miguel was giving Liam and decided to give her former best friend a break. "So, would you like anything to drink?" she asked, leading Miguel and Liam toward the bar. 

"Isn't everything here alcohol?" 

"No, there's orange juice, club soda, and some 7UP. It's all usually used to mix with the alcohol." 

"I'll just have some orange juice," Miguel answered, wondering how he would be able to tell the difference between a regular orange juice and orange juice laced with alcohol. 

"Ok, so it's scotch, straight orange juice, and Malibu and orange juice?" Liam asked. 

"You got it!" Kay laughed as she watched him complete the trek to the bar. She turned back to Miguel. "Quit looking so uptight! Nothing's going to happen. Whatever happens at this party, stays at this party. Admitting that you know what happened admits that you were here. That could cause you to go to jail. As you know, drugs are illegal. We aren't stupid. We're just careful. 

"Now loosen up and have fun for once. Who knows how much more time you'll have to be carefree, what with the way that Charity clings to you." 

Miguel's eyes widened. He had never heard so much hatred emphasized on one word, especially on his girlfriend's name. "I take it you don't like Charity?" 

"Miguel, this may surprise you, but the universe does not revolve around my goody two shoes cousin! She isn't the greatest thing it the world. She is an abnormally happy person. I swear, she's into things worse than drugs if she's that happy all the time." 

"How can you say that?" he asked, still not believing that anyone could hate Charity. 

"I can say it because it's true!" She turned to Liam as he came back with the drinks. She automatically reached for one of the orange juice filled cups, knowing instinctively that it was the orange juice with Malibu. Miguel watched as she quickly downed the drink before turning back to him. "Now have some fun. I don't care if you drink or try anything, I just want you to forget for one day that you're responsible, that you have a girlfriend and to just let yourself be free of any inhibitions!" 

Miguel didn't have a chance to reply, she was gone so fast. She had quickly returned to the bar to get something stronger than the drink that she had just drank. She talked to the person tending the bar and he poured her a clear drink. 

"What is that? Vodka?" Miguel asked Liam, trying to forget his jealousy. 

"Yes. She's the only person I know who can drink anyone under the table. She has a very high alcohol tolerance. I swear, she could drink a full bottle of eighty proof vodka and not have a hangover in the morning." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah, but the weird thing is that it doesn't take her all that much to get buzzed. I mean, her first dose of Heroin was so little that no one could get high off of it, but she did. We wanted her to get started small so she didn't OD, but that was just weird." 

"Are you telling the truth?" 

Liam looked at him. "What reason would I have to lie?" 

"I don't know. All I know is that I don't know you. And I have no reason to trust you." 

"Whatever. Just try to do as H says, she's a bad person to mess with when she's pissed." He walked over to Kay, leaving Miguel alone staring after him. "Hey, H. Would you like to help me with something?" 

Kay looked up from her vodka. "Depends on what it is." 

"Well, you like to bake, don't you?" 

"Sometimes." 

"How about you help me bake some brownies. I was working on them when I heard that you had arrived. And I have no idea how much weed to put in there. You've always known exactly how much to put in." 

Kay looked at Liam's face, noticing the grin that was plastered on there. "You know I can deny you very little. Show the way to the kitchen." 

Liam took her hand and led her through various hallways until they got to the kitchen. He let go of her hand to go over to the refrigerator to pull out a large bowl. 

"How many batches did you mix up?" Kay asked after looking in the bowl. 

"About four." 

"Why so much?" 

"Think about your best friend," Liam ordered. 

"Oh yeah. Trip does eat a lot, doesn't he?" she asked rhetorically. "Where's the pot?" 

Liam reached up into a cupboard and tossed a large bag to her. 

"Put three-fourths of this into the batter and mix it up with a wooden spoon," Kay said after eyeing both the batter and the bag that she was holding in her hands. 

"Thanks, X. You always know what to do," Liam grinned. He took the bag from her and poured the said amount into the batter. He then handed her a small plastic baggie filled with white powder. 

"Well, I'm the greatest, that's why," she smiled, taking a plate out of the cupboard. She put some of the powder onto the plate and then took a dollar bill out of the wallet that Liam had placed on the counter. She rolled it up and placed it onto the plate, inhaling the powder in through the dollar bill. 

Kay watched as Liam finished making the brownies and popped them into the oven, every once in a while she took another snort of the white powder. She set the timer on Liam's watch, which he had taken off, and put it on her wrist. 

"Come on, let's go see...uh...what's his name?" she asked, laughing, totally buzzed. "Liam, Hon, that was some good stuff. "Now what was that guy's name?" 

Liam smiled. He was familiar with the affects that heroin had with Kay's mind. "His name is Miguel. You'd be very lucky from this point on not to forget that." 

"There he is!" she shouted to him as she saw her former best friend sitting at the bar. She ran up to him. "Hi! How are you doing?" she asked after ordering a drink. 

Miguel looked up at her. "Are you alright?" She looked happier than he had seen her look in a long time. 

"Yep. Totally!" She replied. "Is that still straight up?" she asked motioning to his orange juice. 

"Yes, it is. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to drink this weekend, nor am I going to do drugs," he said, somewhat defensively. *Why am I apologizing?* he asked himself. 

"Woah, down boy. Don't get so excited. I'm not expecting you to do anything you don't want to do. But I do expect you to relax!" She ran her hands up his back, slowly rubbing his tense muscles. 

"Kay, what are you doing?" he asked, surprised, as he turned around quickly. 

"Trying to get you to relax," she replied as though it were the most obvious reason in the world. She sat down next to him. "Come on, Miguel. You need to loosen up and have a little fun." She placed her hands on either side of his face and pulled him in for a deep kiss. 

Miguel was surprised. He had never expected that Kay would kiss him. What would Charity say? He was about to pull back when he felt Kay's tongue run lightly over his lips. Instinctively he opened his mouth to her. 

Kay had dreamed of this moment her whole life. After Charity came to town and pulled all of her former friends in with her sappy demeanor she had given up all hopes that this would happen. This was just the first step in winning Miguel back from her cousin. 

All thoughts flew from Miguel's mind as he deepened the kiss. He felt as though this was right, though he knew that it wasn't. He pushed a tendril of hair away from Kay's face, his fingers brushing against her soft skin. He had never felt anything like this, even with Charity. He drew back abruptly. "Kay, we can't do this." 

Kay rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Of course not. Charity has you on a very short leash. She might get mad to find out that you were kissing her wayward cousin." 

Miguel had never heard her sound so upset with him. "Kay..." 

"No," she interrupted, "I understand. Let's just forget it ever happened." The watch on her wrist beeped. "I have to go take the brownies out of the oven. Try to relax." 

Miguel watched her leave. *What have I gotten myself into?" he asked himself for what seemed like the millionth time that afternoon. 

=>==>==>==>==>==>= 

Thirty minutes later, Kay looked across the room at Miguel. He was finally looking relaxed. Then she noticed what he was holding in his hand. A brownie. She now knew why he was so relaxed. 

"Trip?" she asked, pulling on her best friend's sleeve. "How many of those has he had?" she pointed to Miguel, who was taking another bite of the brownie. 

Trip was over six feet tall with short brown hair and dark brown soulful eyes. He was wearing dark blue jeans with a simple black sweatshirt. 

"I think two or three," he answered. "Why?" 

"Shit! He's fucking high. I never thought I'd live to see the day!" 

"Those are your and Liam's special recipe, aren't they?" 

Kay leaned her head back. "Yes. He's going to kill me for not warning him." She leaned over and took the joint out of Trip's hand and inhaled on it before handing it back to him. "Wish me luck." 

"Good luck. Come back to us intact." 

"I hope to." 

She strode purposefully over to Miguel. "Miguel, I need to tell you something." 

He looked up surprised. He hadn't seen Kay for a half an hour. He thought she was still mad at him. He was a bit worried about what she had to say. Just then a new song came on. "Let's dance." He pulled her out to the dance floor. 

Kay smiled. *He's not so bad when he's stoned,* she thought. She was somewhat surprised at how close he pulled her to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, enjoying the closeness for as long as she could. 

_I'm not the one who's so far away_   
_When I feel the snake bite enter my veins_   
_Never did I wanna be here again_   
_And I don't remember why I came___

_Candles raise my desire_   
_Why I'm so far away_   
_No more meaning to my life_   
_No more reason to stay_   
_Freezing feeling, breathe in –breathe in_   
_I'm coming back again_

Miguel pulled her even closer to him, if that was at all possible. She fit perfectly into his arms. As far as he could remember he never felt this content. He hoped it would last. 

_I'm not the one who's so far away_   
_When I feel the snake bite enter my veins_   
_Never did I wanna be here again_   
_And I don't remember why I came___

_Hazing clouds rain on my head_   
_Empty thoughts fill my ears_   
_Find my shade by the moonlight_   
_Why my thoughts aren't so clear_   
_Demons dreaming_   
_Breathe in – breathe in_   
_I'm coming back again___

_I'm not the one who's so far away_   
_When I feel the snake bite enter my veins_   
_Never did I wanna be here again_   
_And I don't remember why I came_

Kay pulled back to look into Miguel's eyes, hoping that she'd be able to judge just how high he was. All thoughts left her mind as soon as their eyes connected. She slowly closed her eyes as he leaned in closer to her. His lips gently joined with hers in a slow, passionate kiss. This one more passionate than the last one they had shared. 

_I'm not the one who's so far away_   
_When I feel the snake bite enter my veins_   
_Never did I wanna be here again_   
_And I don't remember why I came___

_Voodoo, Voodoo, Voodoo_   
_I'm not the one who's so far away_   
_When I feel the snake bite enter my veins_   
_Never did I wanna be here again_   
_And I don't remember why I came___

_I'm not the one who's so far away_   
_When I feel the snake bite enter my veins_   
_Never did I wanna be here again_   
_And I don't remember why I came___

_Voodoo, Voodoo_   
_Voodoo, Voodoo_   
_Voodoo, Voodoo_   
_Voodoo, Voodoo_   
_So far away_   
_I'm not the one who's so far away_   
_I'm not the one who's so far away_   
_I'm not the one who's so far away_

They slowly pulled back from the kiss, and the dance, staring silently into each other's eyes. Miguel pulled her in for another kiss. Right as their lips touched Carlo interrupted them. 

"Hey...we're going to head to the hotel. You two coming?" 

Kay sighed. Carlo always did have bad timing. "Yes, we're coming. We'll meet you outside in a few minutes." She sighed as he walked away and looked up at Miguel. "I'm sorry about him. But it's not as if we can't finish later, right?" 

"Right," Miguel replied. He pulled her in for another deep, yet short, kiss. 

Kay smiled. Maybe she was finally getting what she deserved. She and Miguel walked out of the house and got into Trip's car. 

Less than twenty minutes later the trio of cars pulled up to a small hotel where they would be staying the night so they wouldn't get picked up by the police for a DUI. Trip and Kay ran in to get the group some rooms as everyone else got out of the cars and went into the lobby. A few minutes later the two friends walked up to the others and started handing out the room keys. 

Kay grabbed Miguel's hand and led him toward the room that they would be sharing, knowing the layout of the hotel by heart. 

After they entered the room, Miguel pulled her to him again and kissed her. "I've been wanting to do that ever since we left that party." 

She smiled. "Me too. Now we don't have to wait." 

"We sure don't." His lips covered hers again. 

Kay still couldn't believe that this was happening. That feeling increased when Miguel backed her onto the bed, his lips moving down to the base of her throat. "Miguel, what are you doing?" 

He looked into her eyes. "I want to make love to you." 


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3******

Well, this chapter is rated NC-17 and is, for that reason, not posted here. If you'd like to read it, please head on over to Tiffany's Fan Fiction located at ; Here's the gist of what happens in this chapter. 

They make love. 

Yeah, nothing too strenuous. 


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Miguel quickly jumped out of bed, fighting the wave of nausea that came with his pounding headache. He looked around for his clothes and started to get dressed as Kay woke up. 

She lifted her head slowly and squinted at him. "What are you doing?" 

"Kay, this was all a mistake. We were both completely stoned last night," he explained, buttoning up his shirt. "And how the Hell did I get stoned last night? I didn't smoke or take anything!" 

Kay was unbelievably pissed. Last night had been one of the best nights of her life and here he was, saying it was a mistake. He must have felt it, too. Everything had just felt too right. And now, though he didn't say it out loud, he was worried about what to tell Little Miss Light and Goodness. 

She sat up, paying no attention to the fact that she was naked and the fact that the sheet fell down around her waist. "The brownies. And unless you're planning on walking or hitchhiking back to Harmony, get back in the bed and go to sleep. It's," she glanced at the clock, "eight-fucking-thirty in the morning. We're not leaving for a couple hours yet." She moved closer to the side of the bed and leaned over to get her purse. 

She removed a bottle of aspirin from it and popped a couple of the pills in her mouth then threw the bottle to Miguel. "Take some, they'll help with your headache. And you're looking a little green." 

"Kay, how can you be taking this whole situation so lightly?" he asked after taking a couple of the pills. 

"Because it's no big deal. So you got stoned, big fucking deal. It doesn't mean you're going to Hell. Same with sex before marriage, you don't go to Hell because of it." 

"I'm not worried about going to Hell!" he said harshly. "We had sex, Kay. It's absolutely going to kill Charity." 

"You promise?" Kay replied with a smile. 

"Kay, this isn't funny." 

"Quite the contrary," she said calmly, getting out of bed. She figured that she wouldn't get any more sleep so she might as well get up and hash things out with him. "Everything would be a whole lot better if Charity were gone. Hell, my life would be perfect if she were never born." 

"Kay, how can you say that?" Miguel asked, shocked. Everyone he has ever known loved Charity. 

"Simple. The second she came into my life, she has usurped it. She has stolen my family's affections from me, well, all except Noah, Uncle Hank and Aunt Joanna. The second she moved in, my mom and my dad started fawning all over her. The only time they ever spoke to me was to yell at me for something. My own sister even likes her better. Granted Jessica and I have never gotten along perfectly, but I still love her. And along comes Charity, the beautiful blonde goddess who can do no wrong. She's so sweet I get cavities from being around her! She stole all my friends, first you then Simone. The only two people who I had, at that time, ever considered my friends. And everyone believed that I was actually interested in Reese. He's an okay guy, but I don't like him that way. 

"I eventually figured out that I would never matter to any one of you again, so I got out and made new friends. And they have turned out to be the best friends I've ever had," she said, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. "So if Charity were to die or if she had never been born, I would still be a part of my family. The only thing that I would miss is the fact that I now have the best friends a girl could ever have." 

"One, Charity never stole me from you, why else would I make sure you're okay? And two, Kay, they introduced you to drugs, do you understand that? You're ruining your health because of them." 

"Oh, now you care? Well now that you do I can honestly say that even though I love you dearly, and I do mean I love you, I can now tell you to go to Hell. I don't need you anymore. And for your information, they didn't introduce me to drugs. Dan Everett did." 

"The captain of the football team? I highly doubt it," Miguel said. "He doesn't seem like the type." 

"Too bad. It's the truth. But screw all this, since you're so worried about what will happen to Charity when she finds out, I have a simple solution. We just won't tell her. That way no one will ever have to know that you lost your virginity to the quote unquote 'Slut Bitch'." 

"One, I can't lie to Charity and two, you're not a slut nor a bitch." 

"Tell that to someone who cares. And you can lie to her. Would you rather keep her from being hurt or have her weak little heart break in two at the thought of you cheating on her?" 

"I don't want to hurt her." 

"Then we won't tell her, that's a simple solution." 

"Fine," Miguel relented, seeing her point. He definitely didn't want to hurt Charity. "What did you mean earlier when you told me that you loved me?" 

"A, it's love, present tense, and two, I have been in love with you almost my whole life. You have always been my ideal guy. Well, that ideal has come to be a cross between you and Liam. After all, Liam actually knows how to speak to me. About something other than Charity's whereabouts, I mean." 

He ignored the last statement. "You're in love with me?" 

"Yes, I am. But eventually I learned to just say fuck it, you were never gonna return the feelings so I might as well just give up and say they're a lost cause." 

Miguel didn't know what to say. She was in love with him. How couldn't he have known? Luckily he was saved from having to say anything when there was a knock on the door. 

Trip opened the door and stuck his head into the room. "Time to get going you two. If you're not out to the cars in five minutes you will be left behind." 

"Don't worry Trip. We're ready," Kay replied as Trip left, closing the door behind him. "Come on, we've gotta go." 

=>==>==>==>==>==>= 

Later that afternoon, Miguel was sitting in the Bennett living room with Charity. He was helping her with some of her homework when she wanted to take a break. 

"Miguel?" she asked in her innocent, sweet-sounding voice. 

"What?" he replied, concentrating on one of her math problems. 

"I missed you yesterday." 

"I missed you, too," he replied, giving her a kiss. 

"Lately I've been thinking of our relationship and I think it's time that we take it to another level." 

Miguel looked at her in shock. Did Kay tell her what had happened? "What do you mean?" 

"You love me, right?" 

"Of course I do." 

"And I love you. So why don't we go the next logical step and make love? It will be so special. It will be both of our first times. There's nothing more romantic than two people who truly love each other, losing their virginity to their one true love." 

*Sex? Virginity? Charity and myself?* Miguel thought, shocked. "You want us to make love?" he croaked out, finding it hard to believe. 

"Don't you want to?" 

"Of course I do," he replied, not knowing if he was telling the truth or not. "But are you sure you're ready?" 

"Of course I am. I want to give myself to you; mind, body, and soul." 

"I want to give you that, too," he agreed. "But can we wait a while? For the exact right time?" 

"Of course. I don't want to push you into anything." 

*Oh boy, I'm in trouble. She expects me to be a virgin!* his mind shouted. *I can't keep what Kay and I did a secret...but I also can't hurt Charity! Oh lord, what am I going to do?* 

=>==>==>==>==>==>= 

Kay stood in the kitchen next to the door. She had heard everything that Miguel and Charity had just said. When he agreed to make love to her, Kay's heart broke in two for the millionth time in her life. 

She saw last night as a new point in her and Miguel's relationship. She felt hope for them again. Hope that they'd end up together after all. But not now, not now that Miguel could have no problems telling Charity that they would make love. 

Tears streamed down Kay's face as she walked away from the door. She left the house through the back door to go to Trip's. Maybe he would have the perfect drug to dull and obliterate the pain she was feeling. 


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_Cut my tongue out_   
_I've been caught out_   
_Like a giant juggernaut_   
_Happy hours_   
_Golden showers_   
_On a cruise_   
_To freak you out_   
_We could fly a helicopter_   
_Nothing left to talk about_   
_Entertain you_   
_Celebrate you_   
_I'll be back to frame you_

"We haven't seen your friend Miguel in quite some time," Rock stated. 

Kay only gave him a nasty look before blowing smoke out of her mouth in his direction. She had been successfully avoiding Miguel for two months now. "Who cares? He's nothing but a pretty face and I have enough of those," she stated, referring to the guys who were lying around the room, trying to think of something to do. "'Sides, I have enough fucking problems to be concerning myself with his damned existence." She leaned back against the wall, taking another swig from the vodka bottle that was being passed around. 

_When I grow up_   
_I'll be stable_   
_When I grow up_   
_I'll turn the tables_

"And what would those problems be, dear?" M.J. asked, snatching the bottle away from her. 

"Well, Blondie is still alive, for starters." 

"You're cousin, not the band, right?" Hash asked. 

"Yes. My idiot cousin, you dill hole. The little bitch is still alive and I am pregnant with her moron boyfriend's baby!" 

_Trying hard to_   
_Fit among you_   
_Floating out to wonderland_   
_Unprotected_   
_God I'm pregnant_   
_Damn the consequences___

_When I grow up_   
_I'll be stable_   
_When I grow up_   
_I'll turn the tables_

"You? A mother?" Rock asked as seriously as he could before bursting out with laughter. 

"It's so not funny. I'm pregnant. It's the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I can't be a mother." 

"Why not?" Barb asked. "You have us. We'll help you. And besides, I'd think you'd have enough practice by now. I mean, look at them! They're as childlike as you can get!" she gestured to the guys who were now sprawled out across the room, throwing peanuts, popcorn, and other various snack foods at one another as they had given up on thinking of something to do. The only guys who were staying out of it were Trip (who already knew the news and had nothing more to impart other than he and his brothers would be proud to be the baby's fathers) and Rock...and, whenever taking a break, Hash. 

"That's true. But I doubt that they'll let me be all doped up during the delivery. And I mean completely fucked up during it. I can handle pain. I like pain. But I do not think I can go through at least twelve hours of it." 

"Good point." 

_Blood and blisters_   
_On my fingers_   
_Chaos rules when we're apart_   
_Watch my temper_   
_I go mental_   
_I'll try to be gentle when___

_I grow up_   
_I'll be stable_   
_When I grow up_   
_I'll turn the tables_

"But what about us? I mean we can deliver it! We can do research and..." Rush started only to be interrupted by Kay. 

"And we'd all be too fucked up to understand the damned research." 

"Good point," Barb stated again. 

"Not to mention too fucked up to actually deliver the thing," Rock pointed out. 

"Abortion?" Another Rush suggestion. 

"Parental permission needed and I ain't telling them anything." 

_When I grow up_   
_When I grow up_   
_When I grow up_   
_I'll turn the tables___

_Don't take offense_   
_Can I make amends_   
_Rip it all to shreds and let it go___

_Don't take offense_   
_Can I make amends_   
_Rip it all to shreds and let it go_

"Yeah, you're parents have eternal wedgies or something." 

"Rock, I can always count on you to cheer me up. If you weren't dating M.J. I'd probably be dating you." 

"Thanks for the consideration of our relationship!" M.J. laughed. 

"It's no problem, really. I consider you a lot. Especially why you, Sin, and Snow get all the good guys. They're always either taken or gay." Kay glanced at Sulph and Hash, who were acting all couple-like. "Gay men are so hot. It's tragic." 

"Quit quoting movies, X," Sulph said to her, taking a quick break from his boyfriend. 

_Rip it all to shreds and let it go_   
_Rip it all to shreds and let it go_   
_Rip it all to shreds and let it go_

'I am Jack's smirking revenge,' Kay thought, smirking, as she took another drag off the joint she held in her hand. "If I had a tumor, I'd name it Marla." 

"Why wouldn't you name it Charity?" Trip commented lightly as Sulph rolled his eyes. Trip sneered, as he knew his best friend was doing it only to tick the other man off. Besides, she usually came up with some pretty interesting ones...making them even more interesting when she blurted them out of context. 

"Charity is like that cut on the roof of your mouth that would go away if you'd stop tonguing it, but you can't." 

"Philosophical question now, that does just happen to be a quote. If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?" 

=>==>==>==>==>==>= 

"Where's Kay?" Grace asked disinterestedly. 

Miguel looked up at his girlfriend's aunt and thought about the question. He hadn't seen her outside of class for a couple months now; she'd been avoiding him. Of course, he had also been somewhat avoiding her as well. And he'd also been able to avoid the topic of making love with Charity for that long. He had to tell her about that night with Kay, but he didn't want to hurt her and it surely would. 

"Miguel, do you know?" 

"No. I haven't really seen much of her lately," he replied. "Why do you need to see her?" 

"Oh, she borrowed my gold and diamond necklace for a party last weekend and I was wondering if she was wearing it or if it was in her room." 

"I'll go check her room if you want me to," Miguel offered. He wasn't sure why, but he figured that if Mrs. Bennett wanted back, he'd be the one to be able to find it in Kay's room if it was there. 

"Thank you, Miguel. That's so nice of you." 

"It's not a problem, Mrs. Bennett. I'll be back in a few minutes," he said getting up and headed towards Kay's basement room. 

Shortly after what Miguel referred to as the Mistake she asked her parents if she could turn the basement into a bedroom for herself so Jessica wouldn't have to be bothered with her. In hopes that it would bring their old Kay back, Sam and Grace agreed. So about a month ago, Kay moved into her new room that had it's own bathroom so she wouldn't have to walk up the stairs whenever she had to use the bathroom. It was also complete with it's own outside entrance, which Miguel was sure Sam and Grace had overlooked, so Kay could come and go as she pleased. 

_She's not the kind of girl_   
_Who likes to tell the world_   
_About the way she feels about herself_   
_She takes a little time in making up her mind_   
_She doesn't want to fight against the tide_

The room was kept dark, having very few windows and those that were there were small anyway. Miguel turned on the light and looked around. The room was done predominantly in black. The walls were painted black; the bed had black sheets and comforters that were trimmed in leopard spotted fabric around the edges. She had a stereo system with surround sound set up in the corner and she even had her own TV and VCR. A few posters of Godsmack, Creed, Eminem, and other various bands were hung up on the walls. A refrigerator, microwave, and stove were set up against one wall. She had just about everything she would ever need down in this room so she would never have to go upstairs and deal with the rest of the family. 

_And lately I'm not the only one_   
_I say never trust anyone___

_Always the one who has to drag her down_   
_Maybe you'll get what you want this time around___

_Can't bear to face the truth_   
_So sick he cannot move_   
_And when it hurts he takes it out on you_

Miguel started the search on Kay's desk, which was piled with weeks of overdue homework that looked as though it would never get done. A search through the drawers revealed a few small baggies full of pot and a bottle of ecstasy and another bottle of Golden Seal. He was tempted to flush the stash, but he was sure Kay would just get more. 

_And lately I'm not the only one_   
_I say never trust anyone___

_Always the one who has to drag her down_   
_Maybe you'll get what you want this time around_

Her jewelry box on her dresser didn't have Grace's necklace, but did contain a few little pills amongst her own jewelry. A short while later, Kay's whole room was searched and there still wasn't a necklace. Miguel walked into the bathroom that being the only place he had yet to search. 

He found the necklace in the drawer of the vanity below the sink and was about to leave the room when he noticed the opened home pregnancy test boxes lying in the garbage. There were three of them, all different brands, and the test sticks were laying unobtrusively on the counter near the back. He picked up the boxes and noticed what the signs for positive were and then looked at the sticks. All three showed the positive signs. Kay was pregnant. 

_The trick is to keep breathing_   
_The trick is to keep breathing_

Miguel stumbled out of the bathroom and sat heavily on Kay's bed. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. It was a definite possibility that he was going to be a father. He couldn't believe it. Kay was too young to be a mother. She was only seventeen. She wasn't even out of high school. And her parents would be furious. 

_She knows the human heart_   
_And how to read the stars_   
_Now everything's about to fall apart_   
_I won't be the one who's going to let you down_   
_Maybe you'll get what you want this time around_   
_I won't be the one who's going to let you down_   
_Maybe you'll get what you want this time around___

_The trick is to keep breathing_   
_The trick is to keep breathing_   
_The trick is to keep breathing_   
_The trick is to keep breathing_   
_The trick is to keep breathing_   
_The trick is to keep breathing_

He took a deep breath and walked unsteadily to the bathroom and put everything how he had found it and went up stairs to give the necklace to Grace. He had to remain normal until he had a chance to talk to Kay privately about what he found. He just had to keep breathing. 

_The trick is to keep breathing_

As soon as she came home, he would corner her and confront her. Until then, he just had to keep breathing. 

_{Quote Credits: I couldn't resist adding these in during the second revision. The first quote is from _Go_ (1999) and the rest are from _Fight Club_ (1999). The one about the sore on the roof of the mouth is also from Fight Club but I changed Marla to Charity. I highly recommend both of these movies. _Go_ is the one that got me started writing this chapter. Praise. "Learn it, Live it, Love it." Sorry, Couldn't resist. That one was from _Jawbreakers_ (1999.)}_


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Miguel quietly entered Kay's basement room through the outside door at around three in the morning. He had had to go home before Kay came back from where ever she had been, so he had decided to get up in the middle of the night and sneak over to the Bennett home and into Kay's room. He just hoped that she would already be home. 

A couple of small black light lamps cast an eerie glow over the room and faintly lighted the dark room. Through the dim light Miguel saw the figure of a person lying in Kay's bed. He carefully maneuvered his way over to the bed and sat on the edge. 

She looked so peaceful when asleep, her dark hair spread out around her head. She looked like the same person who was, at one time, his best friend. He gently reached out and cupped her cheek with his hand, just barely touching her skin. 

"Ok…I'll bite. What do you want?" Kay asked bluntly, startling Miguel and causing him to fall down off of his perch. 

"You're awake," he stated, his tone faintly surprised. 

"No shit, Sherlock. Did you figure that one out on your own?" she asked, pulling herself up into a sitting position. "Your family must be so proud of you." 

He sighed. "Kay, we need to talk." 

"Oh, do we? I thought that since the night of what you term as 'the mistake' you wouldn't want to talk to me." 

"That's not true. Kay, you are my friend. You have been ever since we first met at the playground the first day of pre-school," he stated, moving back up on the bed so that he was sitting across from her. "I know that you may not believe it, but I love you. I really do. I know that I may have been neglecting our friendship, but you still mean the world to me." 

"May have been?" she asked evenly. "You may have been neglecting our friendship? May have? There is no may have about it. It stopped existing long ago. You don't even know me anymore." 

"That is because you changed in such a short time! But I want to get to know you, again. I want you to be my best friend again and I want to be your best friend." 

"You know what they say, Miguel. You can't go back again. I have changed. You have changed." 

"I'm still the same person who was your best friend for 15 years," he defended himself. 

Kay shook her head and stood up, heading over to the light switch by the stairs. She flipped on the lights and looked at her former friend. "Miguel, you have changed. Just admit it. You are no longer the boy who diligently helped out around the house before being allowed to go to baseball practice. You no longer go to the docks after Sunday mass to watch the boats sail in the harbor. You spend all your time infatuated with my cousin. The moment she came to town, everything came to revolve around her. Miguel, it's time you woke up and see what all you have neglected because of your little obsession." She rubbed her forehead, walking over to her desk, rummaging around in one of the drawers. "It's time you grew up. I have. I may not have made all the right decisions, but I have grown up. I have choices. Everything I have done in my life has been by my own choice. I grew up and got over my little hatred of my idiotic cousin. I don't hate her any more. She a tumor in the brain of life and I have, pretty much, come to ignore her. It gets easier. Now you should grow up and get over your fixations." Her search finally ended as she pulled out a small bottle and popped a couple of the pills in her mouth. "Now, would you kindly get out of my room?" 

"Kay, what was that you just took?" Miguel asked in concern. He had hoped that once she learned she was pregnant she would stop doing drugs. *A really naïve thought,* he mused to himself. 

"Why do you care?" she asked, her tone fatigued. "Miguel, just go home already." 

"No, Kay. Tell me. What did you just take?" 

Kay sighed and looked away. "See for yourself," she said, pitching the bottle at him. 

"Advil?" 

"Yeah. You're giving me the mother of all headaches. What the hell did you think I was taking?" 

"I don't know…ecstasy or heroine or something." 

"You shoot heroine…it might be in a pill form but I've never encountered it. Now, tell me. Why do you care?" 

"Because you're pregnant!" he burst out, exasperated. 

"What?" came a new voice, startling the two former friends. 

Miguel looked past Kay, stunned. "Mr. Bennett…we didn't know you were there." 


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Sam Bennett had been awoken by the sound of people talking rather loudly. He had automatically suspected that it was a prowler and went downstairs to investigate. Once there he recognized the voices as Kay and Miguel having a discussion down in her room. He glanced at the clock. It was shortly after three in the morning. *What could they possibly be discussing at this time in the morning?* he thought to himself. He walked over to the basement door, feeling a bit guilty for eavesdropping on the two teens. 

"Yeah. You're giving me the mother of all headaches. What the hell did you think I was taking?" came Kay's angry voice. 

"I don't know…ecstasy or heroine or something." 

Sam's eyes narrowed. What was Miguel talking about? 

"You shoot heroine…it might be in a pill form but I've never encountered it. Now, tell me. Why do you care?" 

"Because you're pregnant!" 

Sam's eyes widened. He briskly walked down the stairs to his eldest daughter's room. "What?" 

Both teens spun around, looking at the Police Chief. 

"Mr. Bennett…we didn't know you were there," Miguel said nervously. 

"Kay? Is what Miguel said true? Are you pregnant?" Sam questioned; his voice stern but still a bit cautious, as though he were afraid of the answer. 

"Uh…yeah. I think that's one way to say it. About two months along," Kay answered quietly, adding that last comment with a bit of happiness at the insinuation that she was sure Miguel got. 

"Who's the father?" Sam's voice was calm and even, contradicting what he was feeling. 

"Can't tell you that," Kay said quickly, knowing that if Sam ever found out who the father of her baby was the father would die…even if the father were someone who Sam liked. "Well…I can, but I refuse to." 

"Why?" 

"Because you'd kill him. Then you'd spend the rest of your life in prison and no one would be happy that that happened." 

"Miguel, go home. Now," Sam ordered, not taking his eyes off his daughter. 

Miguel glanced at Kay, who nodded at him to go. He mouthed a silent 'thank you' to Kay for not revealing that he was the father. He knew as well as Kay that Sam would, indeed, kill whoever got his little girl pregnant. 

"Yes sir. I'll see you both tomorrow," he said, leaving the way he came in. 

"Kay…I thought you were more responsible than this." 

"Let's see…we weren't exactly thinking at the time. I don't really think that he knows how to think anyway. He's not the brightest person in the world. He used to be but hasn't been for a year now." 

"Tell me…who is the father. Now." 

"No. I'm sorry, Dad, but I can't reveal that. I refuse to. I don't want him to die." 

"Kay! Tell me now!" 

The only response he got was Kay standing up and moving into the bathroom. He heard the lock turn and knew he wasn't going to get any answers now. He turned and went up to his room and got in bed next to his wife. Maybe he'd get somewhere tomorrow. Maybe Miguel would tell him. He seemed to be fairly close to Kay. 

Sam nodded his head. Yes, Miguel would tell him. Miguel was a good boy. 

=>==>==>==>==>==>= 

Kay heard her father go upstairs. She came out of the bathroom and sneaked up to the top of the stairs leading to the first floor and listened for the sound of her father's footsteps heading up to the second floor. When his footsteps faded away, she walked over to her bedside cabinet and pulled out a bottle of vodka and an empty glass. She reached up and hit the power button on the remote for her stereo and hit the play button. The familiar sound of the CD starting to play rang in her ears, the music starting a few heartbeats later. 

_You make me come_   
_You make me complete_   
_You make me completely miserable_

She stood up and walked back over to her desk and reached in and pulled out a joint and a file folder of pictures. She lit the joint and took a drag on it then pulled out a pair of scissors and opened the file folder. 

_Stuck to a chair_   
_Watchin' this_   
_Story about me_

In the folder were all the pictures she had of Miguel and herself. She pulled the first one out. They were about three and it was taken in the park. She was looking at Miguel as though the universe revolved around him. She was in love with him even then. 

_Everything goes by so fast_   
_Making my head spin_

She gave a bitter laugh and cut the picture down the middle with the scissors. "You can't go back again," she stated bitterly, taking another drag on the joint. She reached over to the vodka bottle. She took the cap off expertly and poured a large amount into the glass before gulping it down. She needed to escape reality for a while. 

_Used up all my friends_   
_But who needs them_   
_When you mean everything_

The next picture was one of the "usual suspects" taken about a year or two before Charity ever came to town. The setting for this one was the Book Café. Beth had taken it when they weren't paying attention. It was a miserable rainy day and they were for the most part, all stuck inside. 

They had all needed to leave their respective houses and Luis had offered to drive them all to the Book Café to hang out. He was still dating Beth at that time and it was his day off and wanted to go over and see her so it wasn't an inconvenience to take them all there. 

They had ended up playing Life all day, from about nine in the morning to six in the evening. In the picture it was Simone's turn and she was taking it. Jessica was sitting next to her, waiting her turn. At that precise moment she had glanced over at Reese, who was sitting between her and Kay, her eyes holding a spark of…something. Kay didn't figure out until later that that look was love. She noticed it again, twice, in the picture. Reese was looking at her (Kay) with that look and she, herself, had that look as she was gazing at Miguel. Miguel was next, in between Simone and Kay, laughing, his eyes containing a spark of mirth. 

It seemed as though he was always happy. Or he was until Charity came into his life. She brought more pain than happiness with all the trouble she got herself into. 

_I love the things that we should fear_   
_I'm not afraid of being here_   
_So much the same_   
_It makes me helpless alone_

Kay remembered that day well. It was one of the best days of her life. They were all just left to themselves to do whatever. Sure they had only done one thing all day, but it was their choice. She remembered that all the squares the others wanted to skip over such as "You're fired" and "Mid-life Crisis" she relished in. It escaped the monotony of the game. She remembered cheering whenever she landed on them. Everyone had thought she was insane at the time, but she didn't care. She had always hated monotony. 

Looking back on the years since then, she realized that none of the people in that picture were her friends any more. They had all grown apart once Charity came to town. Nevertheless, she didn't cut up that picture. She needed to remember that time. When things were so simple in life. You do all the right things; everything was black and white. There were no grays…no clouds in the sky. They were all so innocent then. 

_Nothing to share_   
_Why should I_   
_Care if you're near me___

_Give up all of my plans_   
_But who needs them_   
_When you mean everything_

Now, three years later, she was pregnant with her love's baby. That should have made her happy. At least she had something of Miguel's that Charity didn't…yet. She glanced down at her stomach. 

"I have to raise this baby," she said quietly. "It's all I have…all I will ever have…of Miguel's." 

_I love the things that we should fear_   
_I'm not afraid of being here_   
_So much the same_   
_It makes me helpless alone_

Most teenagers feared pregnancy. Kay vowed to be different. She would relish the pregnancy. The child would be hers and hers alone. Miguel could just ditch them. She wouldn't care. 

_You make me come_   
_You make me complete_   
_You make me completely miserable_

In the long run, Miguel didn't matter. Nothing did, really. The child would grow up feeling love. Even after people came into their lives, he or she would know love and not be cast aside like yesterday's dirty laundry. 

_I love the things that we should fear_   
_I'm not afraid of being here_   
_So much the same_   
_It makes me helpless alone___

_You make me come_   
_You make me complete_   
_You make me completely miserable___

_You make me come_   
_You make me complete___

_You make me come_   
_You make me complete_   
_You make me completely miserable_

Kay couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for her father. She had never wanted to disappoint him, not really. She knew that her pregnancy disappointed him. 

She finished off her joint and the glass of vodka before returning the bottle and glass back to the cabinet and placing the photographs back in the folder. She turned off the stereo and curled up on her bed in the fetal position, tears running down her face. 

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she whispered, crying herself to sleep. 


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 

The next morning at breakfast Grace looked at her husband. He was staring off into space with a very agitated look on his face. "Sam, honey, what is wrong? You've been out of sorts all morning." 

Sam looked up at his wife, startled. "Oh, I'm sorry, honey. It's just…we have to do something. Kay's pregnant." 

Grace looked at him, stunned. "What? Pregnant? How…who?" she shot the rapid-fire questions at him, barely pausing to wait for an answer. 

"I don't know. She won't tell me. She wants to protect whoever it is." 

"What is she going to do? Is she going to keep it, what?" 

"I don't know," Sam repeated. "But we have to support her. And find out who's responsible for this." He then proceeded to tell her the events of the previous night. 

=>==>==>==>==>==>= 

Miguel walked into the Bennett living room to see Charity and Jessica looking at each other in shock as they stood next to the kitchen door, shamelessly eavesdropping. 

"What are you two doing?" he asked softly, not wanting to alert whoever was in the kitchen to their presence. 

The two guilty girls jumped and spun to face Miguel so quickly that they stumbled over their own feet and tripped and fell onto the floor in a tangle of arms and legs. Unfortunately this grabbed the attention of the two adults in the kitchen who came out to see what all the noise was and almost tripped over the adolescent girls themselves. 

"What is going on here?" Sam asked looking from the two girls on the floor to Miguel and back. 

"Sorry," Jessica apologized. "But is it true? Is Kay really pregnant?" 

"Yes, dear, she is," Grace said solemnly. "She told your father last night." 

"Miguel, do you have any idea at all who the father is?" Sam asked the young man. He had, after all, been there when Kay made her little confession. 

Miguel stared at Sam, wondering what to say. Had Kay told her father and was now being subjected to an admission? He was about to form a semblance of a response when Kay walked in. 

"He doesn't know him," the pregnant young woman spoke up, bringing all eyes to her. "It was a mistake…it shouldn't have happened, but it did. We were completely drunk and it happened. We can't go back and change it." 

"But why won't you tell us who the father is?" Grace asked her daughter imploringly. 

"Because Dad will kill him," Kay stated as though it were the most obvious answer in the world. She gave a bit of a smile when she noticed Jessica nodding, silently agreeing with her. They both well remembered their father's statements when they reached their teen years. _Neither of you are going to date until you're thirty! And you're going to remain virgins forever, if I have anything to say about it. Or at least until I'm six feet under. That will be the only time you will ever be able to have sex…do you understand me?_

But that was years ago when they actually got along, when they knew no problems, knew no evil. Things had changed since then. They no longer got along, there was a new addition to the family, and there was about to be another one. 

"How far along are you?" the younger Bennett sister asked hesitantly. 

"Two months." 

"Have you been to see a doctor?" 

"Not yet. But I have an appointment with one on Friday." 

"I'm sure Eve would have told us if you had scheduled an appointment without us," Grace said. 

"The doctor is in Castleton. Trip and Rock are taking me there. I wasn't sure until last night what I was going to do with it. We were considering abortion but none of us can forge either of your signatures. I want to keep it. It's my child and I want to keep it." Kay let out her first genuine smile since she had found the results on the little E.P.T. stick. "I have all these visions of little pink and blue children in a little blue car as we move over the road of life." 

"What are you talking about?" Charity asked in confusion. 

"The Game of Life," came the answer. "When you get a child in Life, you gain a little pink or blue person. I was thinking last night that I want that little pink or blue person. I know I can't ask you all to stand behind my decision but I hope you will at least respect it. I'm keeping my baby." 

"We'll stand behind you, honey," Sam said, giving his eldest daughter a hug. 


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_That day, That day_   
_What a mess what a marvel_   
_I walked into that cloud again_   
_And I lost myself_   
_And I'm sad, sad, sad_   
_Small, alone, scared_   
_Craving purity_   
_A fragile mind and a gentle spirit_

Two weeks later Miguel sat on the Bennett couch and stared at Charity in shock. "C…could you please repeat that?" 

"I want us to make love. Seeing what's going on with Kay right now, I'm realizing that life could change drastically in such a short time," Charity repeated. 

Her statement was true. In the span of two weeks the Bennett home had turned into what Miguel had termed 'Baby land.' Grace and Jessica had been going overboard on baby items. It seemed that Kay was really getting into it, too, as were her friends (proof to Miguel that she had yet to give up drugs, much to his dismay.) The Williams brothers and the two gay guys (Miguel had forgotten their names, though he thought that their nicknames were Hash and Sulph, which sounded right) had been over nearly every day with their own baby gifts. In fact, Kay and her sister and parents were out shopping for the perfect baby crib. And Miguel was getting into it, too. So much so that he actually wanted to be a father to the child. To his child. 

_That day, That day_   
_What a marvelous mess_   
_This is all that I can do_   
_I'm done to be me_   
_Sad, scared, small, alone, beautiful_   
_It's supposed to be like this_   
_I accept everything_   
_It's supposed to be like this___

_That day, That day_   
_I lay down beside myself_   
_In this feeling of pain, sadness_   
_Scared, small, climbing, crawling_   
_Towards the light_   
_And it's all I see_   
_And I'm tired and I'm right_   
_And I'm wrong_   
_And it's beautiful_

"And I know we said that we were going to wait until we were ready and that change has happened. I truly believe that we are ready," Charity continued. "It will be such a beautiful event. The two of us, alone, in love, giving our love and innocence to each other for the first time in our lives. There's nothing more beautiful than that." 

Innocence? Miguel thought. That was unlikely to happen. He had lost that two and a half months ago in a drunken haze. "I'm not so sure that we're ready, Charity." With that statement he realized that it was true. He was going to be a father, whether anyone knew it or not. He had already had sex once before and that was with someone he had known his whole life as opposed to just a couple years. He just wasn't ready to make love with Charity. 

He flinched as he saw Charity's face fall and tears come to her eyes. He knew that look. It was a look that usually had him giving in on anything. Yet this time was different. He was just annoyed with it. He wouldn't give in. "I'm sorry Charity…I just don't think we're ready yet. Maybe soon, but not yet." 

Charity nodded, a forlorn look still on her face. "I understand," she said quietly as her relatives returned home. 

_That day, That day_   
_What a mess, what a marvel_   
_We're all the same_   
_And no one thinks so_   
_And it's okay_   
_And I'm small and I'm divine_   
_And it's beautiful_   
_And it's coming_   
_And it's already here_   
_And it's absolutely perfect___

_That day, That day_   
_When everything was a mess_   
_And everything was in place_   
_And there's too much hurt_   
_Sad, small, scared, alone_   
_And everyone's a cynic_   
_And it's hard and it's sweet_   
_But it's supposed to be like this_

"I still don't see what was wrong with that first one," Grace was saying loudly to her eldest daughter. "It was perfectly lovely." 

"Yeah, if you want your baby to grow up with a complex," Kay rebutted. "It had clowns! Clowns scare little kids. They're psychotic. Look at John Wayne Gacey! He dressed up as a clown and molested and killed little boys!" 

"Honestly, Kay, I don't know where you get this stuff." 

"The Discovery Channel. Or was it TLC? Or Court TV? One of the educational channels anyway. They were having a Serial Killer Profile Weekend a few months back. That was the weekend I stayed at Trip's place. You and dad were on your second honeymoon." 

"That's a pleasant thought," Jessica interjected. "Should we be afraid of you?" 

"No. I just like the dark and unnatural," Kay explained moving over to one of the stuffed chairs and sat down. Normally she liked shopping but going out nearly every day for baby stuff was starting to wear her down. That and she really needed a joint. 

_That day, That day_   
_When I sat in the sun_   
_And I thought and I cried_   
_Cause I'm sad, scared, small_   
_Alone, strong_   
_And I'm nothing and I'm true_   
_Only a brave man can break through_   
_And it's all okay_   
_Yeah, it's okay_

Miguel looked at the bags and boxes that had been brought in. "So you guys found everything you need?" 

"More or less," Kay answered tiredly. "You'd think that they were having the kid. It's unnatural for a small town like this to have so many baby stores. It's almost as if they're promoting pregnancy." 

"Here we go again," Jessica whispered as she sat down next to Miguel. 

"People give us all these speeches: 'celibacy is good,' 'teen sex is bad,' 'you aren't ready for sex or pregnancy.' But here in this little town there are just as many baby stores as in a larger city. So which should we believe?" Kay questioned passionately before continuing on with her diatribe. "People are hypocrites! You can't get past that fact in any society. They tell us not to do one thing then they turn right back around to either do that same thing or promote it." 

"She's been doing this all day going on these nonsensical tirades. I think she does it to get to mom and dad," Jessica explained. "At least she's no longer trying to get us to debate the inner workings of criminal minds." 

"I think I've run out of topics," Kay said suddenly. "It's an odd feeling. One I don't think I've ever had since I'm not a vapid person." 

Sam just shook his head. "Jessica, would you want to help me put these things together?" 

"Sure, dad," the younger Bennett girl agreed, helping her father move the boxes for the crib and changing table down to Kay's basement room. 

"While Sam and Jessica are doing that I'll just go in and make lunch," Grace told the three teens as she went into the kitchen. 

"I'll help you, Aunt Grace," Charity smiled, leaving Kay and Miguel alone in the living room. 

_That day, That day_   
_I lay down beside myself_   
_In this feeling of pain, sadness_   
_Scared, small, climbing, crawling_   
_Towards the light_   
_And it's all I see_   
_And I'm tired and I'm right_   
_And I'm wrong_   
_And it's beautiful_

"Kay, can I ask you a question?" 

"You just did, Miguel," Kay smiled. 

"I'm serious. May I?" 

"You're going to anyway so why do you need my permission?" 

"Are you still doing drugs?" 

Kay opened her eyes and looked at him. "That is so none of your business. What I do is my business." 

"No it's not. Not since you became pregnant. You have to think of the baby, now," Miguel pleaded. 

"If you really want to know…just a little. I cut down about ninety-nine percent since I found out," Kay lied. The number was more like eighty percent but she wasn't going to tell him that. 

_That day, That day_   
_What a mess, what a marvelous mess_   
_We're all the same_   
_And no one thinks so_   
_And it's okay_   
_And I'm small and I'm divine_   
_And it's beautiful_   
_And it's coming_   
_And it's already here_   
_And it's absolutely perfect___

_That day, That day_   
_That day, That day___

_That day, That day_   
_I lay down beside myself_   
_In this feeling of pain, sadness_   
_Scared, small, climbing, crawling_   
_Towards the light_   
_And it's all I see_   
_And I'm tired and I'm right_   
_And I'm wrong_   
_And it's beautiful_

"You need to stop completely, you know that! It's not good for the baby." 

"Miguel, chill out, ok? You haven't given a shit about me for over a year and you suddenly think you have the right to go into overprotective mode? Well you *don't!* I won't *allow* you to. Go back to not caring!" 

"I've always cared, Kay. What makes you think that I haven't?" 

"How about the fact that from the moment that Charity came to town you have pretty much ignored all of your friends, including *me* whom you had deemed your 'best friend.' The only time you ever talked to me was to ask where your precious *Charity* was! So excuse me if that made *me* think that *you* didn't care!" 

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I had been doing that," Miguel apologized sincerely. 

"You never realize when you do shit like that! And I know that you're going to go back to being that way when this is all over because that's the way you are! You have this habit where you become obsessed with something then lose your interest and go back to what you were originally doing. This is the exact same thing, you'll lose interest and go back to Charity!" 

"I *won't* do that!" 

"Why should I believe you, Miguel?" 

"Because I'm the baby's father!" Miguel replied. "I refuse to let you go through this alone!" 

"What?" the familiar feminine voice asked in shock, effectively breaking up the argument. 

_That day, That day_   
_What a mess, what a marvelous mess_   
_We're all the same_   
_And no one thinks so_   
_And it's okay_   
_And I'm small and I'm divine_   
_And it's beautiful_   
_And it's coming_   
_And it's already here_   
_And it's absolutely perfect_

"Charity…" Miguel said, looking at his livid girlfriend as well as the rest of the Bennett family. 

"You're the father of the baby? You?" she asked, glaring at him. "When were you going to tell me?" 

"Yeah, I am," he stammered. "I was going to tell you…all of you, soon." 

"How did this happen, Miguel?" Sam asked in a deceptively calm voice. 

"He followed me to a party," Kay answered. "He unknowingly ended up eating some special brownies and got stoned off his ass. I was already in the wonderful land of numbness and that's when it happened." 

"Who made the brownies? Who supplied the pot?" Sam questioned. He was intent on sending everyone involved to jail. 

"I made the brownies…we don't know who supplied the pot. It was just there," Kay answered, sending a discreet look at Miguel that plainly said, 'you tell and you will die a slow, painful death.' 

"Kay, Miguel, you two *must* tell me. I need to know." 

_That day, That day_   
_That day, That day_   
_That day, That day_   
_That day, That day___

_It's so sweet_   
_Can you feel it_   
_Are you here_   
_Are you with me_   
_I can feel you_   
_And it's beautiful_

"We don't know, Mr. Bennett…it was just there," Miguel lied, feeling all guilty inside at the lie. He didn't want to lie any longer, but he knew that Kay's friends meant a lot to her. 

"Are you two absolutely sure?" 

"Yes, Mr. Bennett." 

"I'm not the slightest bit happy at what you two have done," Sam began. "But I have a feeling you two are going to be paying for this for a long time to come." 

And from the looks on the faces of Grace and Charity, Kay and Miguel knew that Sam was probably right. 

_That day, That day_   
_That day_   
_And it's absolutely perfect_


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_Buck wild for all of my niggas who don't care_   
_Floss like a bunch of young black millionaires_   
_Making you run, me and my Dunn, stakin' my ones_   
_Floss a lil', invest up in a mutual fund_   
_Blowin' the horn, a sense of every day I was born_   
_Never dream I see a nigga landscaping my lawn_   
_Dangerous my nigga shit be accurate_   
_Have to get the flow be so immaculate_   
_A-yo, a-yo, watching my dough, sippin' my moe_   
_Slippin' in slow, the pretty bitches sayin' hello_   
_Anyway go 'head and display your Oil of Olay_   
_Little honey pimpin' in a little Cabriolet_   
_I don't mean to hold you up but I got sumpthin' to say_   
_Swear to only get you hot shit everyday_   
_Afraid of us, you know this ain't a game to us_   
_You strange to us, that's why we gettin' dangerous___

_This is serious_   
_We can make you delirious_   
_You should have a healthy fear of us_   
_Cause too much of us is dangerous_   
_So dangerous, we so dangerous_   
_My flipmode squad is dangerous_   
_So dangerous, we so dangerous_   
_My whole entire unit is dangerous_

It had been a couple days since what Kay had termed 'The Revelation' and it had been a hard time. The tension in the Bennett household had been so thick that you would be unable to cut it with a chainsaw. Grace and Charity were absolutely livid at both Kay and Miguel. And with good reason. 

At least on Charity's part. She had reason to be angry. Her boyfriend had cheated on her, however unintentionally. But Grace was just angry on her niece's behalf. Kay was back to being the daughter who should never have been born. It was a position she was used to. 

And so she sat in her bathroom, drawing deeply on her marijuana pipe in a moment of privacy. She needed something to take the edge off for when she went back upstairs. She hadn't seen Miguel since that day. They had talked every night on the phone, or more appropriately Miguel had talked and she had listened. 

He didn't seem too concerned with Charity being mad at him. Not as much as he would've been before the whole debacle happened. In fact, Kay was surprised that he was still talking to her. She was, after all, the one who had actually broken up the super-couple, however unintentionally. A year ago she would've killed for this to happen. Now all she wanted was things to revert to how they had been before that party. 

She took a deep breath and cleaned up her supplies, hiding them back in their respective hiding places. 

"Here goes nothing," she grumbled to herself as she started up the stairs. 

_Hold your breath_   
_We swing it from right to left_   
_Word to Wyclef_   
_You know my shit be hot to death_   
_Stayin' alive, you know only the stronger survive_   
_Holdin' my heat_   
_Under my seat, wippin' the five_   
_Baseline for all of my people movin' around_   
_Give me a pound_   
_All of my niggas holdin' it down_   
_Cuttin' you up, the new shit ruckin' you up,_   
_Fuckin' you up_   
_My black hole suckin' you up_   
_Back in the days a nigga used to be ass out_   
_Now a nigga holdin' several money market accounts_   
_Blaze the street and then I would just like to announce_   
_Feelin' my groove_   
_My jiga jiga makin' you bounce_   
_Others is fair, me and my niggas breakin' the bread_   
_Straight gettin' it, we got you niggas holdin' your head_   
_Afraid of us, you know this ain't no game to us_   
_You strange to us that's why we gettin' dangerous_   
_Come on_

Kay looked around and noticed that her mother and Jessica were gone, probably at the shop. Today was her dad's day off and he was out in the yard putting together some of the items that had been bought for the baby. 

The only other person home was Charity, whom she found in the living room watching TV while doing her homework. 

"Hi," Kay said softly. As much as she didn't like her cousin, she didn't want them to be mad at each other. 

"Go away," was the terse reply. 

"I just want to apologize again about what happened. We should have told you right away and we were wrong. We had just hoped that if we ignored it, it would go away. So much for hoping, huh?" 

"Kay, leave me alone and don't even try to apologize. I'm still too angry." 

"Come on, there are worse things that could've happened, I'm sure. At least Miguel realized his mistake and wants to be with you. He wasn't looking for away out of your perfect little relationship!" 

"Oh, I know that. I blame you," Charity stated with a smile. 

"Me?" 

"Yes, you. You are nothing but a slut. If Miguel hadn't become involved with you a few months ago you'd probably become a crack whore, I'm sure of it. You are a worthless waste of flesh and everyone knows it. The only reason that anyone is even nice to you right now is because of the baby. The baby has done nothing wrong and doesn't deserve you as a mother." 

"You take that back. This baby means everything to me. It will be the only thing to have ever cared about me. It will love me. Unlike anyone on this whole planet." 

"But you won't get the chance for that. Aunt Grace is going to raise the baby. And if she's smart, she'll ban you from its life. You are a cancer, everything you touch blackens and wilts until it either dies or gets you cut out of it's life. We need to get you out of all of our lives to save us all," Charity explained in a grave voice. 

"You are not going to take my baby away from me. None of you are, you over pious bitch," Kay bit out. 

Before she knew it, Charity's palm had connected with her face in a brutal slap. 

"Oh you did not just do that," Kay laughed, her hand coming up to touch the reddening mark. "One slap, that's all you'll get. Next time you do it, I will strike back." 

"Oh really?" the blonde questioned, her hand swinging out to slap her again. 

But Kay was prepared for her and grabbed the blonde's wrist in a tight grip, twisting the arm up behind Charity's back. With her free arm Charity swung her elbow back into Kay's abdomen and broke away, unmindful of Kay's gasp of pain. 

Kay slowly straightened up, ignoring the pain. "You are so going to get it," she growled, launching herself at her cousin and ended up knocking them both to the ground. Unfortunately she wasn't expecting the sharp stab of pain that arose in her abdomen and she ended up getting pinned by the blonde, who had tapped into her anger and frustration over the situation and began to pummel her cousin. 

Sam ran into the living room once he heard the commotion going on in the living room. He quickly tore his niece off of his daughter and blocked the pathway between them. "Stop it, you two. This is solving nothing," he said while looking at Charity. He then glanced down at his still daughter. 

She was unconscious and her breathing was labored. She was bloodied badly beaten about the face. He instantly became worried. 

"Charity, call 911, now. Something's wrong," he ordered, his gaze indicating that Charity would be punished after Kay was taken care of. 

_This is serious_   
_We can make you delirious_   
_You should have a healthy fear of us_   
_Cause too much of us is dangerous_   
_So dangerous, we so dangerous_   
_My flipmode squad is dangerous_   
_So dangerous we so dangerous_   
_My whole entire unit is dangerous_

Eve Russell walked out of Kay's room and looked at her patient's family and Miguel. 

"Eve, is she going to be all right?" Sam asked urgently, standing up the moment he noticed his friend come out. 

"Kay will be fine, there were no broken bones, just bruising and a sprained wrist. However we were unable to save the baby. She has been told and she seems to be taking the news rather well, though she refuses to talk to anyone about how she feels, which could prove to be potentially harmful." 

"When will she be released?" Miguel asked. 

"If she does well tonight she can go home tomorrow," was Eve's solemn answer. "But she does need to rest for at least a week to let her body heal." 

"May we see her?" 

"Yes, you may. But please leave if she gets upset." 

_One time ya'll_   
_Throw your hands real high ya'll_   
_Yeah, get down ya'll_   
_Let me see you all ya'll_   
_Busta Rhymes, Flipmode ya'll_   
_Nineteen ninety-eight ya'll_   
_Ha, get down ya'll, let's have a ball ya'll___

_Feelin' the heat up in the street rockin' the beat_   
_Step up in the club; take me to my reserved seat_   
_Comin' around, all of my niggas surround me_   
_So much bottles of liquor, ya'll niggas will drown me_   
_Makin' ya drunk, feelin' the funk, blazin' the skunk_   
_Stay hittin' with the shit that blow a hole in ya trunk_   
_Afraid of us, you know this ain't no game to us_   
_You strange to us that's why we gettin' dangerous_   
_Come on_

The next day Kay lay awake in her hospital bed. She refused to talk to her family or Miguel. Trip and a few of the others had been by to visit, to see how she was doing. They said that Miguel had contacted them to let them know where she was and what had happened. 

She had appreciated it, but she just couldn't talk to Miguel or her family. Something just created a block so that she couldn't. She was being released today, her father had already signed the release papers and was going to come back later to pick her up after she had had her final check out, which had just been completed. 

She could get dressed at any time now, but she didn't want to wear the clothes that she had come in. She couldn't put them on. She hoped her father would bring a change of clothes for her when he came. 

She looked up when she heard a knock at the door and was more than a little surprised to see that it was Liam. She hadn't expected him to show up. 

"Hey girl. You ready to blow this pop stand?" he asked, tossing a bag onto the bed. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"Trip called and told me what had happened. He also said that you were getting released today so I came to pick you up." He smiled sheepishly. "I figured you wouldn't want to go home to your family. I probably wouldn't want to so here I am. And I come bearing clothes and an invitation to stay with me." 

Kay chuckled and picked up the bag, walking into the bathroom to change. She really appreciated him coming. He was right; she didn't want to go home with her family. She didn't want to face that house, face her cousin. 

She washed her face then grabbed Liam's hand. "Let's get out of here. Let's go to your house." 

_This is serious_   
_We can make you delirious_   
_You should have a healthy fear of us_   
_Cause too much of us is dangerous_   
_So dangerous, we so dangerous_   
_My flipmode squad is dangerous_   
_So dangerous, we so dangerous_   
_My whole entire unit is dangerous_   
_Come on_


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

_Lying here on the floor where you left me_   
_I think I took too much_   
_I'm crying here, what have you done?_   
_I thought it would be fun___

_I can't stay on your life support_   
_There's a shortage in the switch_   
_I can't stay on your morphine_   
_'Cause it's making me itch_   
_I said I tried to call the nurse again_   
_But she's being a little bitch_   
_I'll think I'll get out of here_

It had been two weeks since Kay had gone missing and Miguel was getting frantic. He had to find her, had to make sure she was ok. No one at the hospital had seen her leave that day. 

He had already called her friends, trying to determine if they knew where she was. They didn't. But he finally had a lead. Trip remembered talking to Liam the day Kay was released, before she disappeared, and Miguel said he'd check it out. That's where he was now, on his way to Liam's to find his best friend…and at the moment, his only friend. 

He thought back on what had been happening in the Bennett home. Sam and Grace had gotten into a huge fight over events bringing about the miscarriage. Sam just couldn't understand how Grace refused to accept Charity's part in the fight. Grace believed that Charity had nothing to do with it, that she was just acting in self-defense. And Charity was loath to contradict her aunt, knowing that she could get in deep trouble if the truth was ever discovered. 

A few days later Sam and Grace had separated, seriously considering divorce. Neither could believe that the other was being so close-minded to the other's 'truth.' Jessica opted to stay with her father, knowing that he wouldn't lie about what had happened, that Kay, for once, wouldn't lie…if Kay would, in fact, say a word to anyone. 

And for Miguel, he couldn't face Charity without anger and a sense of betrayal. Up until then he had hoped that they would reconcile, but now he knew that he wouldn't be able to. He couldn't forget about the part she played in the loss of his child. He doubted he'd even be able to forgive her for it, but he would try. 

And now, all he wanted, was to find his best friend and help her get on with her life, help her get past this. But he couldn't do that if he couldn't find her. 

_Where I can run just as fast as I can_   
_To the middle of nowhere_   
_To the middle of my frustrated fears___

_And I swear you're just like a pill_   
_Instead of making me better_   
_You keep making me ill_   
_You keep making me ill___

_I haven't moved from the spot where you left me_   
_It must be a bad trip_   
_All the other pills were different_   
_Maybe I should get some help_

Kay fumbled around Liam's small apartment. She hadn't left the building since she had been brought there two weeks before. Liam was gone to his parents' house in Castleton and would be spending the night with them. They had been pressing him for a visit so he finally relented, and wouldn't be home until the next day. So he had effectively left Kay alone with her thoughts. 

And that was a bad thing. There was a time when she had known the apartment like the back of her hand, but that had been months ago. And now she needed something. Anything to dull the pain, the emptiness that she felt. Anything to dull her thoughts. And so she fumbled around, looking through drawer after drawer and box after box. 

Tears came to her eyes as she searched, the shaking getting worse. This was the most sober she'd been since she began living with Liam. He had always had an endless supply of drugs before but she couldn't find anything. 

She was worked up into a rage and beginning to think that she wouldn't find anything and was about to call Liam's cell phone when she finally found one of his small prescription bottles where he held some of his stash. They were little nondescript white pills. There was no label on the bottle, indicating what they were. Kay didn't care. Whatever they were, she'd gladly take them. They just had to numb her; mind, body, and soul. 

She knew it was a temporary fix. That it did absolutely nothing to solve her problems. It was just another problem that needed solving. She knew that she would need to go to rehab. But she was scared. Drugs had been a part of her life for so long. They had brought her almost nothing but trouble. Rehab was the only way to go…rehab or death and Kay didn't know which she wanted more. 

Rehab could cure her; she could work through all her problems and make a life for herself. And that was always reversible. But death…death was permanent. She didn't want to die. She had never wanted to die. She knew that if she kept on the path that she was currently on, death was a distinct possibility. She sighed and shook her head as if to get rid of the morbid thoughts. She'd think about that later. She always said that she'd think about it later. 

_I can't stay on your life support_   
_There's a shortage in the switch_   
_I can't stay on your morphine_   
_'Cause it's making me itch_   
_I said I tried to call the nurse again_   
_But she's being a little bitch_   
_I'll think I'll get out of here___

_Where I can run just as fast as I can_   
_To the middle of nowhere_   
_To the middle of my frustrated fears___

_And I swear you're just like a pill_   
_Instead of making me better_   
_You keep making me ill_   
_You keep making me ill_

While she waited for the pills to kick in, she thought. She thought of the life she could've had with her baby, the baby that was abruptly taken away from her. She remembered the day she decided to keep the baby and told her friends. Trip, Rock, and K, the surrogate uncles, were so excited. They had immediately gone out and bought toys for it. 

And then there was Miguel. He had wanted to be a father to it, but the situation was just too convoluted for there to be any sane reaction to anything. He wanted to be the father of the baby, but didn't want anyone to know he actually *was* the father of it. 

And there were the girls; they were all convinced they were going to be the 'aunties.' That was a scary experience. They were also more than just a little excited about the baby shower. Kay, personally, had been dreading the day that they would have it. When it came to parties, the girls went overboard. 

Kay's eyes slowly drifted shut as she began to feel dizzy, much the same feeling as when she played a video game too long. She wasn't moving at all, how could she have gotten motion sickness? She kept her eyes tightly shut, trying to will the sickness away from herself. 

*What were those pills?* she asked herself. 

She faintly heard a muffled pounding sound echo throughout the apartment as she lay motionless on the floor. 

_Run just as fast as I can_   
_To the middle of nowhere_   
_To the middle of my frustrated fears___

_And I swear you're just like a pill_   
_Instead of making me better_   
_You keep making me ill_   
_You keep making me ill___

_I can't stay on your life support_   
_There's a shortage in the switch_   
_I can't stay on your morphine_   
_'Cause it's making me itch_   
_I said I tried to call the nurse again_   
_But she's being a little bitch_   
_I'll think I'll get out of here_

Miguel had been pounding on the door for a few minutes to no answer. Instinctively he knew that Kay was in there. It was almost as if he could feel her there. He quickly tired of the pounding and threw himself against the door as he had seen people do on the television in order to open the door. To his surprise it opened easily. 

He stumbled to catch his balance then scanned the room for his friend. There he saw her curled up in the corner, her eyes tightly screwed shut, her breathing steady, but shaking. He quickly moved over to her. 

"Kay? Kay, can you hear me?" 

"Mmm…" she mumbled, refusing to move. 

"Kay, come on, I've got you," he assured her as he noticed how pale she was. He had to get her to the hospital. He carefully picked her up in his arms, taking care not to jostle her too much. She was looking worse by the minute. He hoped that she would be all right. 

_Where I can run just as fast as I can_   
_To the middle of nowhere_   
_To the middle of my frustrated fears___

_And I swear you're just like a pill_   
_Instead of making me better_   
_You keep making me...___

_Run just as fast as I can_   
_To the middle of nowhere_   
_To the middle of my frustrated fears___

_And I swear you're just like a pill_   
_Instead of making me better_   
_You keep making me ill_   
_You keep making me ill_


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

_You're on a wide-open ocean_   
_No one around you for miles_   
_You're thinkin' of drinkin' on water_   
_While you're sailing the Nile___

_No one to stop you on your way_   
_Flyin' by goes a stork_   
_You decide to bring your oars in now_   
_But accidentally knock out the cork_

Kay woke up in the hospital with no idea how she had gotten there. She looked around, confused, noticing that Miguel was curled up asleep in the chair next to her bed. She slowly, carefully pulled herself into a sitting position. 

"Miguel? Hey, wake up!" she called to him in a hoarse voice. 

Slowly his eyes opened as he came awake. "Kay! You're awake." 

"Way to state the obvious…what's going on? What happened?" 

"I found you at Liam's. You apparently overdosed on crystal meth; you were pretty out of it when I found you. I brought you here right away." 

"No way did I overdose. I never OD." 

"You already had a lot of chemicals in your body, the pills just took you over the line." 

"Dammit…I hadn't had anything in my body in quite a few hours. How could there have been anything left in my body?" 

"When was the last time you ate?" Miguel asked in way of answering her question. 

She rolled her eyes. "Thank you for bringing me here. Please leave now. I want to be alone." 

"But Kay…" he began. 

"Now! Leave! Please." 

"Kay, do you understand what happened to you? You almost died. Dr. Russell said that if I hadn't found you when I did you would be dead now. You have been unconscious for three days in some sort of coma. The drugs did that to you, Kay," Miguel stated, his voice louder than usual. "And you didn't even know it. Kay, you need help. I refuse to let you obliterate yourself. You are my best friend…I know that I haven't acted like you are, but you really are. You have to know that." 

Kay knew what he was saying but refused to hear it. She only wanted to be alone. She needed to think, not a lecture. "Miguel, get out! I can take care of myself. I have been for quite some time now." 

"And you've done a bang up job, Kay. You nearly got yourself killed," he replied in a grave voice before grabbing his coat off the chair and leaving. 

_Row your boat to shore_   
_'Cause it is leaking and you're still drinking_   
_Unless you cork the hole_   
_You won't be sailing, you'll be sinking___

_Not knowin' your sinkin'_   
_You take out a bottle of rum, yum_   
_Swiggin' a drink to the bottom_   
_The label reads 'Van Monchinghum'_

Kay was relieved when he left. What he had been saying had truly scared her. She didn't want to die. She never had, but now she had in fact come close to it. If he hadn't been there. Everything he had said was true. Liam wouldn't have found her in time. Her life really had gone down the drain. 

She shifted and picked up the phone and dialed Liam's cell. She didn't want him to worry, though she was sure that one of the guys would have told him what had happened. He told her that he had been worried but hadn't visited because he didn't want to run into her father. She couldn't blame him for that. No one could blame him for that. He told her that he'd visit soon and they hung up. Kay took a deep breath and leaned back against the pillows. 

Her mind drifted back to an online story she had read once. A person in a drug rehab had written it. It was basically a journal of the author's experiences in the hospital and Kay had thought at the time that she would never think of the story again. But now she couldn't stop thinking of it. She was on the threshold of making a decision that could make the difference between life and death. 

The answer, however, was pretty much a no brainer. It was made almost before the question had formed in her mind. 

She had to go to rehab. She had to get clean and get on with her life. She didn't want to end up in the hospital again…she'd had enough of it to last a lifetime. 

_Oars back into the water_   
_You think you'll sail on_   
_You can't 'cause your boat contains_   
_Three and a half gallons___

_Row your boat to shore_   
_'Cause it is leaking and you're still drinking_   
_Unless you cork the hole_   
_You won't be sailing, you'll be sinking_

A short while later her father poked his head in and he smiled. 

"Hey there, honey. Miguel told us you were awake," he said in a soft voice. 

"Yeah, I am," she gave a faint smile. "Daddy?" 

"Yeah?" 

She took a deep breath and for the first time voiced her decision out loud. "I need to go to a rehab." 

"You want to go?" Sam was surprised. They had all honestly thought that they'd have to drag her kicking and screaming. They hadn't expected her to agree, hadn't expected for her to come up with the idea all on her own. 

"I don't want to go, I need to go. I know it's not going to be a fun time, in all actuality it's probably going to be a horrible experience, but I need to do it anyway." 

Sam smiled. "I'm so proud of you, honey." 

_Row, row, row your boat_   
_Sail your ship to shore_   
_You're barely, barely, barely keeping afloat_   
_I hope that you don't drink no more___

_Row your boat to shore_   
_'Cause it is leaking and you're still drinking_   
_Unless you cork the hole_   
_You won't be sailing, you'll be sinking_

Two days later, Kay was released from the hospital in order to go to the drug rehab that Sam had located on the other side of the state, where the nearest clinic was. They took her to the train station and sat with her as they waited for her train to come. 

"Are you absolutely sure you want to go alone? You don't want me to take you?" Sam asked yet again, acting like a mother Hen. He, Miguel, Jessica, and the three Williams brothers were there to see her off. 

Kay's other friends had wanted to come to see her off, also, but Sam wouldn't allow it. He had barely allowed the three brothers to come. They were the three elected by the whole group to come see her off with well wishes from the rest of them. 

"Yes, I'm sure I want to go alone," Kay said for what seemed, to her, like the millionth time. "I need to do it alone. If I can make it that far alone, I know that I can break this." 

"You do know that we're all proud of you, right?" Trip asked nervously. 

"Yes, I know, I really wish everyone would stop saying that. You know, I could be proud of you all too, if you were to go to rehab." 

"If you can make it, we'll all go," Rock promised with one of his goofy grins. "We promise." 

She turned and looked at her father, sister, and friend. "You are all the witnesses. They promised. You will vouch for me if they change their mind." 

"We'll be sure to do that," Miguel smiled. He could tell that the brothers meant it. But they needed Kay to prove to them that it could be done. 

Kay's train was called for boarding and she stood up. "So, I'll see you all as soon as I'm released. Clean and sober." 

Sam swept his daughter up into a hug. "Take care of yourself. Keep in touch…call me every week, all right?" 

"Yes, Daddy. You know I will." 

"Those phone calls had better extend to me, too," Jessica smiled. She knew she had never been the best sister, but she hoped to make it up to her. 

"I will," Kay grinned. She turned to the three brothers. "You three are now the grown ups of the group, all right? You will settle all arguments…with absolutely no violence. What are the rules?" 

"Put on Jimi Hendrix, to shut them up," the three chorused. 

"And to break up actual physical fights, to wake people up, or just to get their attention, what do you do?" 

"Put on Britney Spears at top volume." 

"That's right," Kay laughed. That had never failed to get the gang's attention, though it was usually negative towards Britney herself. "Now come here, give me a hug." 

The three enveloped her in a group hug. 

"You guys need to call me and write me, ok? That is the group project while I'm gone," she smiled, tears in her eyes. 

"Yes, ma'am." 

She turned then to Miguel. She silently pulled him into a hug. "Thank you," she whispered. "For not giving up on me." 

"I never would," he responded. "You had better keep in touch with me, too. And I'll be waiting here for you when you return. And yes, I'll make sure to look after the gang for you." He pulled back and looked at her in mock sternness. "Call us when you get in at the clinic." 

"I will," Kay said again as the last call was announced over the speaker system. "I have to get going. I'll see you all when I get better." 

She then turned and walked to the train platform and got on the train, not allowing herself to look back or she wouldn't have the courage to go ahead. 

_Row, row, row your boat_   
_Sail your ship to shore_   
_You're barely, barely, barely keeping afloat_   
_I hope that you don't drink no more___

_Row, row, row your boat_   
_Sail your ship to shore_   
_You're barely, barely, barely keeping afloat_   
_I hope that you don't drink no more_


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

_Sometimes sunshine_   
_Does not want to shine on me_   
_And sometimes I find myself blind_   
_At first I cannot see and then I see it's me___

_I chose a road when I was young_   
_In search of fun temptation won_   
_And all my soul I did surrender_   
_If I had a chance to go back now_   
_Would I redeem my moral vows_   
_Or would I repeat for my own laughter_

Miguel paced the train station platform nervously as he waited for Kay's train to come in. It had been a year and a half since they had all last seen Kay. Her progress had gone a bit slower than they had all hoped, but it was finally over. She was coming home. 

True to his word, he had watched over his friends. He noticed that they had all noticeably cut down on their drug intake in preparation of Kay's homecoming. They wanted to surprise her by being completely clean and sober when she saw them. Sometimes that had been the only thing keeping them to their vow, the thought of Kay being proud of them, not that she ever indicated she felt any way otherwise. 

Sam and Grace had gone ahead and gotten a divorce. Sam and Jessica now lived in a large apartment downtown. The two of them and the gang, were getting ready for Kay's welcome home party. He was the one elected to coming and picking her up, though they had all wanted to come. 

He finally heard the blaring of a train whistle and smiled. She was finally here. 

_Sometimes I hide somewhat_   
_Like a bulb behind a shade_   
_And sometimes I ask myself why_   
_Is it cause the lights are too bright_   
_Or because my eyes are closed too tight___

_Sometimes I find myself blind_   
_Don't use my brain don't use my mind_   
_Distorted feelings always leading my way_   
_But I must forgive myself_   
_And let the past lay down to rest_   
_And I'll be prepared to face myself in another day_

Kay sat in the window seat, watching the scenery pass her by just as she had a year and a half earlier. She was right, it had been hard at the rehab center and she had hated it. The only things she had looked forward to were the calls and letters from her friends and family. She missed them all more than she thought she would. 

At the center she had worked on not only breaking the habit, but on getting her priorities in order and on making life goals. The whole experience had been part hospital, part boot camp, and part therapy. And now that she was out, she found that she was kind of missing it. But she had her sponsor's contact information and the addresses of the nearest support meetings in the towns around Harmony, most of them being in the sister town of Castleton. She had also gotten her G.E.D. so she wouldn't have to repeat her senior year of school. 

Before she left the school, Kay had been asked the question of if she had been able to go back in time and live her life over again if she would play it out the way it had happened or if she would change everything. She couldn't come up with an answer. She had been thinking about it since she left. She didn't know what she would do. Both sides had their advantages. She guessed she'd just have to wait and see how she felt after being home again. 

She had taken the idea from the rehab story she had read and created her own journal. She hoped to get it published; she hoped that it would help other people going through what she went through. While writing it, she discovered that she really loved to write. She was already in the process of writing a horror novel. It was coming along quite well. 

She had, in fact, enrolled herself by mail in some creative writing courses at Harmony College. They started in a month's time and she couldn't wait. She knew she'd be living with her father and her sister to begin with. They had moved most of her stuff from the house to her room in their apartment. 

Kay was jolted out of her thoughts as the train's whistle blew, clear and sharp. She gathered her notebook and pens together, shoving them into her backpack. She didn't know who would be meeting her at the station, only that someone would be there. 

The train slowed to a stop and she stood up to leave. 

_From now on I will behave_   
_But in the back of my mind I will be enslaved___

_From now on I will behave_   
_But in the back of my mind I will be enslaved___

_Sometimes sunshine_   
_Does not want to shine on me_   
_And sometimes_   
_Sometimes I get lost_   
_I get lost___

_I chose a road when I was young_   
_In search of fun temptation won_   
_And all my soul I did surrender_   
_If I had a chance to go back now_   
_Would I redeem my moral vows_   
_Or would I repeat for my own laughter_

Miguel kept getting more and more jumpy the longer he had to wait. He guessed he was just impatient. He wanted to see his best friend, tell her how much he had missed her. While she was gone he had come to the revelation that he did, in fact, love her. More than he ever had Charity. Kay was right; her cousin had been an obsession of his. The past eighteen months had proven that, had shown where his heart truly laid. 

Finally people began to depart the train, and none of them moved fast enough for Miguel. He knew that it had been too much to hope that she would be the first one off. Finally he caught sight of her, of her dark brown mane of hair, her somewhat nervous smile that turned into a grin when she saw him. 

The moment she got to him he pulled her into a tight hug. "I've missed you so much. Don't go away again," he said softly into her hair. 

"I missed you to," she said, returning the hug. "But I'm back now and I don't think I'm going to be leaving any time soon." She pulled away and noticed the odd look on her friend's face. "What's up with you?" 

Miguel refused to back down and now was as good a time as any. "I'm in love with you. I have been since before Charity came to town but, like you said, I went off on a tangent with one of my obsessions. I'm so sorry…please, tell me that you can give us a chance," he said, all in a rush that left Kay staring at him in mute surprise. "C'mon, please say something. Anything." 

_From now on I will behave_   
_But in the back of my mind I will be enslaved___

_From now on I will behave_   
_But in the back of my mind I will be enslaved___

_From now on - Hey, Hey, Yeah_   
_From now on - Oh, hey, hey_   
_From now on I will behave_   
_But in the back of my mind I will be enslaved___

_Sometimes I find myself blind_   
_Don't use my brain don't use my mind_   
_Distorted feelings always leading my way_   
_But I must forgive myself_   
_And let the past lay down to rest_   
_And I'll be prepared to face myself in another day_   
_Hey___

_From now on I will behave_   
_But in the back of my mind I will be enslaved_   
_I mean it_

"I don't know what to say. I've dreamed of this for so long, but never expected it to happen. I had given up hope." 

"Do you think it's too late?" 

"I love you, Miguel. I don't think that I've ever stopped, only ignored it for a while. Of course it's not too late," she smiled. 

Miguel broke into a grin and pulled her into another hug, spinning her around in a circle before kissing her long and deep. "I promise you, Kay, from this moment on that I will do nothing to hurt you. I love you." 

"I love you too, forever and always." 

Kay finally had her answer. She would definitely live her life out like she had and not have changed a thing. 

_From now on I will behave_   
_But in the back of my mind I will be enslaved___

_From now on_   
_From now on_   
_From now on_   
_Yeah___

_The back of my mind_   
_The back of my mind will be enslaved_   
_Yeah___

_From now on_   
_From now on_   
_I mean it, I mean it___

_I will behave, I will behave_   
_But in the back of my mind I will be enslaved_

**THE END******

**Discography:******

Prologue: None   
Chapter 1: "Whatever" by Godsmack off their album _Godsmack_   
Chapter 2: "Voodoo" by Godsmack off their album _Godsmack_   
Chapter 3: "Lost in You" by Chris Gaines (Garth Brooks) off his album _Chris Gaines' Greatest Hits_   
Chapter 4: None   
Chapter 5: "When I Grow Up" and "The Trick is to Keep Breathing" by Garbage off their album _Version 2.0_   
Chapter 6: None   
Chapter 7: "Miserable" by Lit off their album _A Place in the Sun_   
Chapter 8: None   
Chapter 9: "That Day" by Natalie Imbruglia off her album _White Lilies Island_   
Chapter 10: "Dangerous" by Busta Rhymes off his album _When Disaster Strikes…_   
Chapter 11: "Just Like a Pill" by Pink off her album _Missundaztood_   
Chapter 12: "Sinking" by No Doubt off their album _No Doubt_   
Chapter 13: "Sometimes" by No Doubt off their album _No Doubt_


End file.
